First off, I would like to say "Five Days???". OMG, I can't believe it's been five days since my last post. I just started this blog and I am already slacking. Maybe I just needed something really important to write about...like what I am about to discuss in this post.
I am by nature a pretty angry and stressed person. I won't go into the reasons why, I just wanted to preface this with that simple explanation and insight of who I am. It takes a lot to get me boiled over, but in the meantime I am one of those people that lets things fester for a long time without saying a thing about how I really feel.
With that said, I can then tell you that I have spent years working on my anger and stress management skills. Today, almost all of my skills have been put to the test. I would like to explain to you how I use said skills because I know that I am not the only one who deals with both anger and stress on a day-to-day basis. Maybe you do too. If you don't, chances are you know somebody who does and maybe, just maybe you would be so kind as to pass on some of these thoughts to them.
Method #1: Writing. I love to write. Writing is a great method of self-therapy for me. I can put my feelings down on paper or on print. I can then choose to send those thoughts to a particular person if they happen to be the source of my frustration, or I can choose to just take what I have written as a release in itself and let my emotions find conclusion there. Most often, I choose the latter since I have this habit of pissing people off when I am honest about whether or not they have pissed me off.
My writing isn't always manifested in the form of a letter. I sometimes put my talent of "paper gab" to use in my songwriting ability. Emotions are most often the best source of inspiration for a lot of great songs. Some of them I have kept over the years. Most have been simply in-the-moment genius and when the anxiety has passed I realize that the song I came up with was actually utter crap.
Today, I spent a couple of hours writing lyrics. I can't wait to read them tomorrow and decide how horrendous they actually are. None of what I have written today has really given me closure to what is ailing me, and may in fact actually fed my frustrations more.
Therapeutic stand-by #2. As a songwriter, I am also a musician. My instrument of choice is my good-old beat-up acoustic guitar. Since my primary means of self-therapy didn't seem to work, I turned to giving my guitar plenty of attention. I have spent close to four hours thumping around on my six strings. If it weren't for callouses that are a mile deep, my fingers would surely have fallen off, or at the least be cut to the bone. In retrospect, the majority of the songs I played today have been pretty depressing. Let's see...Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here", The Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" and "Eleanor Rigby", Radio Head's "Creep", and Gin Blossoms' "Until I Fall Away" were just a few of the tunes that flooded the empty air of my little apartment. Obviously, playing music today didn't do much to help my state of mind.
I realize not everyone has the skill or talent to play a musical instrument, but if you do possess the ability I highly recommend playing something that ISN'T depressing to overcome mental irritation.
Methods #1 and #2 both failed me. It was then time for me to move onto something a little less introspective.
Mental Re-adjuster #3: Exercise. Some people like to get to a gym and pump iron to relieve stress and anxiety. Sex is also a great reliever. It's been a while since I've experienced any physical intimacy and it wasn't really an option today, either...which is one of the bigger points of my frustrations, honestly. I know, I know...T.M.I. Well, you dear reader can get over it. I have.
My exercise of choice is simply to go for a long walk. There is nothing like a breath of fresh air pumping through your lungs. It helps get the blood flowing a little easier. It sure beats the hell out of sitting around in a stuffy apartment. I love watching the wind blow through trees and listening to the birds singing. I also love talking to the occasional dog as it barks its head off at me as I pass its territory. Nature. Even in a city like Denver, nature is all around. None of it helped. My mind still wandered back to my problems, my points of contention. Screw walking.
Mind Game #4: Bitching. Okay, so this one really isn't such a great idea in any situation, but I did it any way. I got a hold of my brother. The one person in the world who knows me best. Surely I could let a few things off my chest with him. He's cool. He's understanding...
...He was completely unprepared for anything I had to say. At one point he even started to bitch back at me. Like I said, this technique is not a great idea. I quickly ended the conversation, sorry that I had said anything at all, and felt ever more angry and depressed than I had at the beginning of the talk.
Anxiety Ammunition #5: The Ultimate Weapon. I have been a long-time fan of just relaxing. I am a pro...when I remember to do it. In most circles it is called meditation. This was amazing. It worked so much faster than anything else could have. Within about two minutes I felt my stress dissolving. If you have never done meditative relaxation, I will walk you through it. It's very simple. If you have done this type of meditation before, go ahead and read the technique I use. It might be a little different from what you do.
Create a calm and quiet atmosphere. Turn off the television. Shut the door. Turn down the lights. If you have to, tell everyone in your vicinity that you need ten minutes for yourself and that the first person to disturb you during that ten minutes will most likely suffer loss of life. If you have kids, pawn them off on someone you trust for those ten minutes. Explain to that person that you really need that amount of time to get your mind back to a healthy state. It is important that you do that, especially if you are a parent who is currently over-stressed. If there is no way that you can get those ten short minutes right now, then commit to yourself to find the time in the next few hours.
Once you have created your calm and quiet atmosphere, you should get into a comfortable position. Lying down is the best, but if you are prone to falling asleep and you have obligations to get back to at the end of this ten minutes then I suggest sitting upright in a comfortable chair.
If you are sitting, place your hands on your lap. Keep a strong posture, but make sure your back is fully supported. Loosen your neck muscles by rolling your head slowly in a clockwise direction a few times, then reverse direction. Relax your shoulders.
If you are lying down, most of the physical relaxation comes much more naturally.
Once you are in a comfortable position, notice your breathing. This is the most important thing to watch through the rest of this process. Breathe slowly in, then let it out slowly. If your mind begins to wander to things outside of yourself, or you begin thinking about your issues, bring your focus gently back to your breathing. Don't get upset with yourself for losing focus, simply bring it back to your body.
The next step is to focus on each part of your body, moving slowly from one end to the other. Starting at the soles of your feet, imagine an orange fluid slowly filling your body. It is thick and syrupy. It adds weight to anything it fills. And it is warm. Feel its warmth radiating through the bones and tissue of your feet. Let it relax your ankles. As your feet are filled, let it flow up into your calves. Imagine your blood pumping through the veins of your legs as the orange fluid slowly coats them. Let all tension in your calves disappear. Then let the fluid flow into your knees, dissolving any joint tension or discomfort, then slowly into your thighs. Eventually, imagine this fluid flowing from both of your legs and pouring into your pelvis, then your abdomen. All your organs get filled and covered by the liquid.
When it reaches your chest, notice your breathing again. Imagine the liquid gently ebbing and flowing along with your inhales and exhales, but realize that it in no way constricts your breathing. Imagine it doing the same in your heart as it pulses.
Once the liquid reaches your shoulders, it first starts flowing gently down through your arms, loosening all the muscles and joints as it works towards your hands. Let your upper arms, then your elbows, then forearms relax. It coats and fills the inside of your wrists, palms, then spreads into your fingers.
Once your arms and hands have been filled, let the fluid begin flowing up through your neck, relaxing each muscle it fills. Imagine it filling your ear canals, your jaw muscles, tongue, sinuses, eye sockets, forehead and brain. Imagine it reaching your scalp and soothing it.
When it has filled your entire body, from your feet to your scalp, imagine it radiating out, pulsing, and creating an aura. If you have a few minutes more, just bask in the comfort of your relaxed body. When you are ready to return to what life has in store for you, slowly ease yourself back up. Gently roll your head upon your neck. Rotate your shoulders and shake out your arms and hands. Let all your extremities loosely flop around...
...And then the next time you experience any anxiety or turmoil, just take a second and breathe.
I am by nature a pretty angry and stressed person. I won't go into the reasons why, I just wanted to preface this with that simple explanation and insight of who I am. It takes a lot to get me boiled over, but in the meantime I am one of those people that lets things fester for a long time without saying a thing about how I really feel.
With that said, I can then tell you that I have spent years working on my anger and stress management skills. Today, almost all of my skills have been put to the test. I would like to explain to you how I use said skills because I know that I am not the only one who deals with both anger and stress on a day-to-day basis. Maybe you do too. If you don't, chances are you know somebody who does and maybe, just maybe you would be so kind as to pass on some of these thoughts to them.
Method #1: Writing. I love to write. Writing is a great method of self-therapy for me. I can put my feelings down on paper or on print. I can then choose to send those thoughts to a particular person if they happen to be the source of my frustration, or I can choose to just take what I have written as a release in itself and let my emotions find conclusion there. Most often, I choose the latter since I have this habit of pissing people off when I am honest about whether or not they have pissed me off.
My writing isn't always manifested in the form of a letter. I sometimes put my talent of "paper gab" to use in my songwriting ability. Emotions are most often the best source of inspiration for a lot of great songs. Some of them I have kept over the years. Most have been simply in-the-moment genius and when the anxiety has passed I realize that the song I came up with was actually utter crap.
Today, I spent a couple of hours writing lyrics. I can't wait to read them tomorrow and decide how horrendous they actually are. None of what I have written today has really given me closure to what is ailing me, and may in fact actually fed my frustrations more.
Therapeutic stand-by #2. As a songwriter, I am also a musician. My instrument of choice is my good-old beat-up acoustic guitar. Since my primary means of self-therapy didn't seem to work, I turned to giving my guitar plenty of attention. I have spent close to four hours thumping around on my six strings. If it weren't for callouses that are a mile deep, my fingers would surely have fallen off, or at the least be cut to the bone. In retrospect, the majority of the songs I played today have been pretty depressing. Let's see...Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here", The Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" and "Eleanor Rigby", Radio Head's "Creep", and Gin Blossoms' "Until I Fall Away" were just a few of the tunes that flooded the empty air of my little apartment. Obviously, playing music today didn't do much to help my state of mind.
I realize not everyone has the skill or talent to play a musical instrument, but if you do possess the ability I highly recommend playing something that ISN'T depressing to overcome mental irritation.
Methods #1 and #2 both failed me. It was then time for me to move onto something a little less introspective.
Mental Re-adjuster #3: Exercise. Some people like to get to a gym and pump iron to relieve stress and anxiety. Sex is also a great reliever. It's been a while since I've experienced any physical intimacy and it wasn't really an option today, either...which is one of the bigger points of my frustrations, honestly. I know, I know...T.M.I. Well, you dear reader can get over it. I have.
My exercise of choice is simply to go for a long walk. There is nothing like a breath of fresh air pumping through your lungs. It helps get the blood flowing a little easier. It sure beats the hell out of sitting around in a stuffy apartment. I love watching the wind blow through trees and listening to the birds singing. I also love talking to the occasional dog as it barks its head off at me as I pass its territory. Nature. Even in a city like Denver, nature is all around. None of it helped. My mind still wandered back to my problems, my points of contention. Screw walking.
Mind Game #4: Bitching. Okay, so this one really isn't such a great idea in any situation, but I did it any way. I got a hold of my brother. The one person in the world who knows me best. Surely I could let a few things off my chest with him. He's cool. He's understanding...
...He was completely unprepared for anything I had to say. At one point he even started to bitch back at me. Like I said, this technique is not a great idea. I quickly ended the conversation, sorry that I had said anything at all, and felt ever more angry and depressed than I had at the beginning of the talk.
Anxiety Ammunition #5: The Ultimate Weapon. I have been a long-time fan of just relaxing. I am a pro...when I remember to do it. In most circles it is called meditation. This was amazing. It worked so much faster than anything else could have. Within about two minutes I felt my stress dissolving. If you have never done meditative relaxation, I will walk you through it. It's very simple. If you have done this type of meditation before, go ahead and read the technique I use. It might be a little different from what you do.
Create a calm and quiet atmosphere. Turn off the television. Shut the door. Turn down the lights. If you have to, tell everyone in your vicinity that you need ten minutes for yourself and that the first person to disturb you during that ten minutes will most likely suffer loss of life. If you have kids, pawn them off on someone you trust for those ten minutes. Explain to that person that you really need that amount of time to get your mind back to a healthy state. It is important that you do that, especially if you are a parent who is currently over-stressed. If there is no way that you can get those ten short minutes right now, then commit to yourself to find the time in the next few hours.
Once you have created your calm and quiet atmosphere, you should get into a comfortable position. Lying down is the best, but if you are prone to falling asleep and you have obligations to get back to at the end of this ten minutes then I suggest sitting upright in a comfortable chair.
If you are sitting, place your hands on your lap. Keep a strong posture, but make sure your back is fully supported. Loosen your neck muscles by rolling your head slowly in a clockwise direction a few times, then reverse direction. Relax your shoulders.
If you are lying down, most of the physical relaxation comes much more naturally.
Once you are in a comfortable position, notice your breathing. This is the most important thing to watch through the rest of this process. Breathe slowly in, then let it out slowly. If your mind begins to wander to things outside of yourself, or you begin thinking about your issues, bring your focus gently back to your breathing. Don't get upset with yourself for losing focus, simply bring it back to your body.
The next step is to focus on each part of your body, moving slowly from one end to the other. Starting at the soles of your feet, imagine an orange fluid slowly filling your body. It is thick and syrupy. It adds weight to anything it fills. And it is warm. Feel its warmth radiating through the bones and tissue of your feet. Let it relax your ankles. As your feet are filled, let it flow up into your calves. Imagine your blood pumping through the veins of your legs as the orange fluid slowly coats them. Let all tension in your calves disappear. Then let the fluid flow into your knees, dissolving any joint tension or discomfort, then slowly into your thighs. Eventually, imagine this fluid flowing from both of your legs and pouring into your pelvis, then your abdomen. All your organs get filled and covered by the liquid.
When it reaches your chest, notice your breathing again. Imagine the liquid gently ebbing and flowing along with your inhales and exhales, but realize that it in no way constricts your breathing. Imagine it doing the same in your heart as it pulses.
Once the liquid reaches your shoulders, it first starts flowing gently down through your arms, loosening all the muscles and joints as it works towards your hands. Let your upper arms, then your elbows, then forearms relax. It coats and fills the inside of your wrists, palms, then spreads into your fingers.
Once your arms and hands have been filled, let the fluid begin flowing up through your neck, relaxing each muscle it fills. Imagine it filling your ear canals, your jaw muscles, tongue, sinuses, eye sockets, forehead and brain. Imagine it reaching your scalp and soothing it.
When it has filled your entire body, from your feet to your scalp, imagine it radiating out, pulsing, and creating an aura. If you have a few minutes more, just bask in the comfort of your relaxed body. When you are ready to return to what life has in store for you, slowly ease yourself back up. Gently roll your head upon your neck. Rotate your shoulders and shake out your arms and hands. Let all your extremities loosely flop around...
...And then the next time you experience any anxiety or turmoil, just take a second and breathe.
